Knowing what we want is one of the ways we strive to live the best life on earth. 

I have dedicated myself to understanding everything that runs the world we live in. Because, in understanding, I can function and thrive in the world. 

This has led me to ask the question, what do men really want? what do women need? what do women want? How do you go about looking for the One who was meant to finish your story with you? 

Ask yourself, do you really have an idea on what you want (need) for (from) a future partner? Does your current partner truly know what you want/need? Because, what you need and want is really important; in the sense that, when you make the wrong choices, it’ll affect the fruits you will bear in the future.

What Do Women Want?

Who I am today is as a result of the women in my life. 

Women inspire me a lot, and I believe there should be more emphasis on what women want and need.

The Bible states, for her noble character, her partner is respected everywhere. Even J. Cole famously rapped on Pretty Little Fears, she ‘’plant a seed, it grows some roots, a branch and leaves becomes a tree of life until our nights are filled with peace from stress and strife”.

Women want security

Nowadays, because of the limits of society, some women are not able to speak about what they really want. The most important thing a woman wants is someone who she will feel secure with.

The feeling of security is one that entails a lot. 

The feeling of Security and Emotions 

Firstly, women want someone who is emotionally available for her; someone who will be safe enough to share and show their vulnerability. Emotional availability is something women want. And ironically, it is exactly what the world has tried to remove from the man.

But, it is important because, through it, comfort is found. It also shows a sign of growth in the relationship (something that extends beyond physical attraction). Elle Beau said ”The quickest way to resolve difficult emotions is to allow yourself to experience them fully. This isn’t particularly pleasant to do. But once it is accomplished, it is much, much easier to move through those feelings.”

A woman can’t possibly feel secure with someone she doesn’t see as “Good”. Being good means, someone who will show respect to their partner no matter how hard it could be. 

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It means being someone who understands her body language, feelings and uses what he knows to give her sexual gratification if need be (and always with verbal consent). 

A good partner will be secure enough to want the woman to grow and achieve her own dreams.  

Being good simply means the man is responsible enough to treat his woman and family right!

Security of the Future: Visions

A key thing almost every woman and arguably all women want is a man with a vision for the future even if he is currently financially unstable. As a man, it is wise to have a vision for the future, and what’s better than having a vision is adding your partner to that vision. Through teamwork, goals can be achieved, a future where everything needed will be available, can be made.

Last but not the least, as seen in More Women are Actively Pursuing Their Career Goals than ever before, most women want to have a career just like men do. This is why the majority of modern women will never choose to be a ‘’stay-at-home mom”, and a few will choose the ”stay-at-home” option only when there is a good influx of finance from Man’s side.

In the case of outward appearance, there is a belief that ‘’beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”. That’s why even though women don’t admit it so much, they want a guy who will look good in their own eyes and no other lady’s eyes. In the end, it all comes down to a man who will see her as exquisitely beautiful just as she sees him.

What Do Men Want?

From a woman’s perspective, men want Respect from the woman above any other thing.

Generally, men want a woman based on her physical attributes and her relational attitude with people. 

However, there is an argument that men are only concerned about themselves. And see women as a means to an end and just a necessary evil for transient sexual gratification. 

This is as a result of experiences women have with men. And also what some men have portrayed all through the ages. 

There are few women who believe underneath it all. A man wants a woman who will bring him the peace he’s been seeking for all his life. Someone he can easily communicate with. And someone who will allow him to live freely and not sacrifice his identity because of the woman. 

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What Do Men Really Want?

Every lady has her ideal man, and what she thinks men want. But, you never truly know what someone wants unless you are the person who wants.

Men want a supportive woman

From the perspective of men, it is generally agreed that regardless of the nature of the man, He wants a woman who is God-fearing, a Good Cook, and last but not the least, a woman who is supportive and will aid in building a good future together with the man as seen in 13 Things Men Want in a Relationship.

The reason why some men find it essential a woman is God-fearing is purely for one purpose: A God-fearing woman would exhibit Loyalty, Integrity and she’ll have respect for authority as said in Ephesians 5:33 and 1 Peter 3.

Also, a woman who is a good cook is desirable because, simply stated by a mate of mine, a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach

A Supportive Woman who knows how to cook is even better

Mira C. Harris says in Why do Men love Women who cook? “every man loves food, every man wants to see his woman radiating her glory in the kitchen.”  Because, going out is nice, but once in a while, men have fantasies of just being in bed with their woman, the Netflix and Chill way.

Why does every man hunger and fascinate incessantly for a woman who is supportive? For some men, being supportive as said in 13 Things Men Want in a Relationship means someone you can tell your problems to and they’ll always have an opinion on how to handle it. 

For some, being supportive means someone who will be able to contribute to the financial needs of the partnership/family for e.g. Oscar, I’m taking care of food for this month, you can keep the money for rent. Almost every man is shifting towards a woman who is financially independent. So, he wouldn’t be the chequebook nor the momo merchant of the woman. 

But, I think some men can’t handle the power shift seen in The Power of a Financially Independent Woman that comes with a Financially Independent Woman. This is why, I understood when a mate told me, giving to a woman you love is normal, but it shouldn’t be an everyday event. Why, because being “financially needy is not a turn on”  as championed in Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Agrov.

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In some cases, some men don’t care for emotional support due to their own distaste for sharing what they feel. 

But, no matter who a man is, he will always need support. And, if you think he doesn’t need it from you, it’s because he’s getting it somewhere else, or he’s dying on the inside. Ashley Papa said in What you need to know about how Men fall in  Love– “A man will start to push himself and make more effort to do certain things because the person he loves supports and builds him up”; and that is why his partner needs to be his support. 

Men Love Sex

Furthermore, one of the drives of men like the women’s, is sex. Sex from a place of marriage is important because, in sex, vulnerabilities of both parties are seen; sex is freedom and if done the right way, it is borderline enjoyable. As stated on What do men really want: “men want sex, but sometimes they want it to enhance the emotional relationship” i.e. to create a stronger bond.

Because not all men are the same, Some men want a woman who is open-minded to experiencing everything the world has to offer. Others prefer a woman who is reserved. Some, a woman who is smart and more intelligent than they are. Some, a woman who is friendly and welcoming to friends and family of the man.

Someone might argue that women don’t have so much idea on what men want. The lack thereof is as a result of fault from both parties. Because men and women haven’t put in enough effort to know what the other party wants. 


The ultimate desire of every man is a woman who will bring his life peace and harmony. Peace and Harmony with the person you call home can be your shelter away from a messy world. And I believe, what a woman wants or what a man wants all comes down to someone who brings you peace and helps you fulfil your God-given purpose.

5 Key Takeaways From The Article For The Reader

  1. Knowing what people want is important for a better life.
  2. Women want men who will be emotionally available to them.
  3. Women want men they will feel secured with.
  4. A God-fearing woman will have the right attitude, and men want that.
  5. Men seek a partner that will bring them peace and harmony.

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