It’s true that relationships need work, but the work isn’t trying to figure out if you should stay or not. The expression, “When you know, you know,” could ring true.
This strikes a particular chord with me because I have had this experience, in which I met someone online, corresponded with him and grew closer over some length of time, and did not meet him until we had developed an emotional & romantic connection. What I loved the most about our meeting it felt like we knew each other for ever after only first few minutes.
When you would eventually meet, you would expect it to be pure magic, one of these rare times in a life when everything finally seems to fit together and you feel you’d met your other half.
The first time I met my online love it was magic, and as a long time romantic I simply knew this would be the case.
Before this I had always thought connections were made between two people’s hearts and minds, their personalities and characters finding that match, without having anything to do with their physical forms, which is at best a distraction and at worst an obsession. But it isn’t necessarily just a matter of looks; my story showed us that it could be the smallest things that endear us to each other.
During our first meeting, we made “the kind of in-person observations that were not visible over a phone line.”
“He realized I was very shy and not the talkative person online at all,” “I was a little self-conscious about that.”
His favourite first, however, was the sight of me laughing at his jokes.
“For months, all I got when we made corny jokes was the sound of your laughing or two letters alternating back and forth, some variation of ha-ha,” he told me. “I found out that I really loved your smile. Part of me always knew I would.” He told me.
The way someone laughs, the way they move their hands when they talk, the way their body moves when they walk… all of these little details are part of what makes a person, and they are more important than we may think. It’s not that any of these things seal the deal or break it, but that they add immeasurable nuance to who a person is in our minds and, sometimes, in our hearts.
Related; What it means to sacrifice…
It may be true that you learn the most important things about another person by talking to them online, but there is so much more to learn about somebody from seeing and hearing them in person. Some things are conscious, such as how they look or sound, and others are unconscious, such as the body chemistry that can draw us to other people on a more primal level. As ethereal and ideal as we may think love is, there is also an animal aspect to it that corresponds to physical aspects of other people that we may not even notice. These seemingly trivial things flesh out the person we get to know online, and may end up determining whether that online connection becomes a love affair or a long-lasting friendship (or both) in real life.
Our story shows that online love can lead to a long-term relationship in the real world. But not all do, as I have seen with others.
Should you regret any of your experiences? In general, no. Most of them might have resulted in friendships that are among the best and richest ever. Also, they can be marvellous experiences of getting to know another person and growing more intimate with each other over time. Any physical component of the relationship is delayed, of course, but other than that, this way of getting together, with its positive and negative sides, is not all that different from traditional relationships that begin in the real world (not all of which work out in the long run either).
This way of meeting people and forming connections is not for everyone, though. Obviously, it’s not optimal for those whose wants and needs are through more physical connections.
You might like; How a wrong mentality can destroy you.
If you want my advice, don’t avoid making online connections-they can be marvelous experiences while they last. But I would recommend trying to meet each other before your feelings grow intense, just in case.